Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
