I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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