i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
