She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
