so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
