OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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