i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
