I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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