is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
