Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
