Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
