can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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