:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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