I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We are two peas in an std pod
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
