Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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