i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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