Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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