with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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