i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
