do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
