Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
