Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
