I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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