Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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