I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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