My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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