Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
