I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
