I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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