Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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