how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
