she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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