she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
