we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
