her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
