Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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