every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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