god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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