Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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