Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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