508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
