your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
