She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
