Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
