dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
