You made me cry and you don't even care
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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