quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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