Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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