My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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