I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm passing your future prison.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
