There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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