you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
