Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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