he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think I sprained my soul last night
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
