I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
