It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
