so that wasnt chicken after all
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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