i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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