Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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