so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
FUCK WHALES
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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