Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize