life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
