I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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